Blog #516 Handling Toxic People

Coaching for Life Success:  Handling Toxic People

We do run into toxic people in our lives.  You know, the habitual complainers, whiners, pessimists, naysayers in our lives.  

First, were they always like this?  

Second, can they be ‘turned to the light’ (or, if you will, letting ‘the force’ flow through to them)?

Third, how to deal with them.


The article is mostly for handling them as successful people:  According to the article, you should:

1- set limits,  Treat them maybe like a smoker blowing second hand smoke in your face.  You might take it for a few seconds, but you need to get away.”Hi Bob, I only have two minutes to talk with you” – then set your iPhone timer to two minutes.

2- watch your emotions – don’t buy into their negativity, and don’t argue.  Move on. Generally you can’t win these discussions and they will tear you done.  Move on.

3- Don’t play their game – rise above.  Don’t get sucked into their whining and complaining.  “Bob, that just doesn’t appeal to me. That seems to be petty and whining.  I’m going to pass on it. I have other things to do of a positive nature. <period>”

4- Don’t let them push your buttons.  They are probably zealous about their thoughts and ideas – they may either try to get you to support them, or get you to fight against them.  It isn’t in your best interest to do either.

5- Establish boundaries. Stick to your guns.  “Excuse me Bob, but I only had two minutes, and we’ve gone past that.  I have to move on”

6-The whiners will try to steal your joy.  Don’t let them. You are a winner and a victor – don’t wallow in the mud.

7- Focus on solutions, not problems – the whiners will tell you how bad it is, but don’t have a solution. Was a bad year for farming?  Sure you can talk about prices and markets, but what can you do for positive things?

8- Squash negative self-talk. – winners talk and live success.

9- Get some sleep.   I know when I’m tired I am more susceptible to whiners.  Get some rest, things will be better in the morning.

10-And, if you are spiritual – pray for them.  What stole their joy from them? Can they get it back?  “In everything give thanks”; “Love one-another”; “We are all made in the image and likeness of God” – including whiners and complainers.

What about you?  Are you a successful person and can overcome toxic people, or do you like to join in the toxicity?

What do you think?



Posted by Bruce White

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