Blog post 302 another tragic story

yesterday we had a tragic story of a good backing up and killing a mentally handicapped girl.

Today a story of family friends

(Names changed)

Mike was a nineteen year old young man.  He was in the Army Reserves- and committed suicide.  It was a deep shock to his family.  They did a lot of introspection- what went wrong; why didn’t they see his symptoms and problems.

This caused a great deal of angst for James and Tara his parents.  Eventually James and Tara separated and divorced.  Subjectively Tara both blamed herself and James for Mike’s death.  It was very hard on them.

While death of a child is tragic enough death of a child who seemed to he normal can be even more tragic.

while one cannot understand fully what is going on in a troubled child’s mind these parents ended up blaming themselves and the other spouse.

the lesson I got out of this is that life goes on.  While grieving is normal at some point you have to reach the last stage in the grieving process – which is acceptance.In there grief they neglected their other children and built a wall between each spouse.

Maybe Shakespeare said it best as what is done cannot be undone. You cannot dwell on an event to the exclusion of the rest of life.

what do you think?

Posted by Bruce White

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