Blog Post #531 Don’t hit your upper limit

My happiness is bounded!!

https://experiencelife.com/article/overcome-your-upper-limits/

The author of this linked article talks of a day when she was just so happy.  It had been a great day. But, then she allowed the bubble of happiness to deflate.

In the article she comments:

“Suddenly, it dawned on me: I manufactured the stream of painful images because I was feeling good! Some part of me was afraid of enjoying positive energy for an extended period of time. When I reached the Upper Limit of how much positive feeling I could handle, I created a series of unpleasant thoughts to deflate myself. The thoughts I manufactured were guaranteed to make me return to a state I was more familiar with: not feeling so good.”

The author suggests we (all) have set limits on how much happiness we can handle.  If that is really the case, we are putting leg irons on us to slow us down.

The author goes on to name four barriers in our brains:

-1 We feel flawed.  Within our comfort zone, we are safe and stay small.  When we get to new heights in our lives (like being super happy), our brains (ego?) try to quell that happiness.   Another story the author tells of a man you was offered a great position, pay of 3 million and a two-year contract.  He blew it by thinking “I’m not worth 3 million dollars”. That limit in his brain kept him from this great job.

-2 Guilt, and disloyalty.   Some religious sects preach limiting our happiness and limiting our success.  Maybe it is an unspoken comment like “Look at your brothers and sisters. They are struggling and then look at yourself.  Why aren’t you sharing with them? You are guilty to your family and friends to be so overtly happy!

-3 The more successful (or happy) you are, you become a bigger burden on to others.  “Why should you be happy when your mother is in an Alzheimer’s wind in a senior health center?”

-4 The “Crime” of outshining.  I have seen this in my students (especially females) over the years.  They are great students and have a lot going for them, but, they don’t want to outshine others.  They want to lay low in the bushes, not rise to the top. They think they are not worthy of recognition.

The author wrote this: “For his birthday one year, his parents gave him a grand piano. He was seized with joy and gratitude. He hugged his parents and, with tears streaming down his face, sat down at the keyboard. As his fingers were about to touch the keys for the first time, his mother said, “We would never have been able to afford this if your sister hadn’t died.” Instantly, his joy became suffused with guilt and grief. A pattern was set in motion that would play out for the next 40 years.”

“Fortunately, Joseph was able to break free. He realized that the crime for which he’d been convicted — being alive and thus outshining his sister for all time — was a crime that existed only in his parents’ imagination. “

We sometimes say somebody is putting a guilt trip on us.  But, we don’t have to take it. Yes, you may have failed in something – but get up and go!!

My wife might give me a list of things to do while she is out.  When she gets home, she will

check to see if I accomplished them all, and if not, she ‘lovingly’ puts a guilt trip on me.

The author concluded with some negatives.  We tend to worry too much, and worry keeps us from reaching our limits and goals.  Likewise, we might have blame and criticism. I wasn’t my fault I didn’t get the promotion, it was that management likes <person-a> better than me.  

 

Do keep positive, don’t let that fear of failure come into our brain; keep guilt away (others have suggested that walking on exercising can introduce endorphins into your body and mind – that can chase away those fears and guilt.  Don’t be envious of what others have. Keep a good attitude in your mind.

And, don’t let limits keep you away from YOUR SUCCESS!!!

 

Bruce

 

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Blog Post #530 Holiday Blues

Overcoming Holiday Blues

https://www.cnn.com/2014/12/19/health/surviving-holiday-blues/index.html

This time of year is frequently hard for many people.  Family traditions maybe have been broken by the death of a grandparent, divorce, separation, sickness, money and more.

In this article, CNN tells of an NYC woman who has to work on Christmas Eve, who doesn’t have the money to fly to visit her boyfriend or family. Again woman is experiencing the blues since she separated from her husband earlier this year.

But, the article suggests four survival tactics:

  1. Find social support.  Get out and do something.  Go to a Christmas/Holiday party.  Go to a ball game, a movie – with a friend or friends.  If you can’t get ‘home’ for the holidays, find somebody else in the same situation and do things together
  2. Get to the gym.  As you exercise, endorphins will help brighten your day and your attitude
  3. Limit your social media.  People post happy events on Facebook (or Twitter or Instagram).  You are sitting all by yourself – alone, and seeing picture after picture of families and friends having fun can really hurt you.  Call your friends, text your friends, but don’t look at friends having a happy time!!!
  4. Reframe your thinking.  Get out, volunteer. See if you can be a Salvation Army bellringer.  Help serve a community meal. Our church generally delivers turkey and more to low income and shut-ins this time of the year.

Don’t let the calendar bring you down.

And … on the flip side, if you know somebody from work or wherever that can’t get home for Christmas, invite them for dinner, invite them to go to church with you, invite them to watch college football games with you.  

I talked with a mental health counseling friend recently who said she was already booked up for most of December – mostly from the Holiday Blues.  Be a friend, invite friends – start some new traditions.

What do you think?

Bruce

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Blog post #529 Travel anxiety

Travel Anxiety

https://www.psycom.net/holiday-travel-how-to-reduce-travel-stress-and-anxiety/

I know a lot of people with travel anxiety (particularly air travel)

I can remember my first flight – from Chicago to Cedar Rapids – about 1968,  I was told to dress up and to look nice. On the flight, the stewardess (not flight attendants) gave us a simple sandwich meal, with beverages.  It was pleasant.

But, over time, with more airlines, more flights, more passengers, and more stress.

Delays are inevitable these days, with less arm and leg room.  The analogy is a “cattle car”. There are all sorts of people going all directions at once.

Today’s article gives some hints:

-Take care of yourself before you go.  Get enough sleep, eat healthy, get to the gym, stay in a normal routine.

Here are time-saving tactics:
Print out your boarding passes beforehand. Standing in line to get your boarding pass can add to your stress.

Use carry-on. Consider shipping large pieces of luggage ahead.  And, pack correctly. You can find the weather for your destination and that can help to plan for warm or cool, wet or dry.

Stay at an airport hotel or plan on getting to airport hours 2 to 3 hours early.  On our last trip with had an airport hotel the night before our trip as well as a hotel the day we got home (it was a late flight that was scheduled to arrive at 11:15 p.m. (and eventually did land at 12:15 the next morning.  It was nice not to have to drive home on a late night.)

Take an early flight. The first flights of the day are least likely to be stuck on the runway.  And, if there is a mechanical or other problem, you have all day to get to your destination on other flights.

Enroll in TSA PreCheck or Global Entry and zoom to the head of the security lines. For our last flight, we had both TSA PreCheck and Global Entry and it did help to get through security.

Pre-book airport transfers. The more you plan ahead, the less nervous you will be.  Now schedule changes can occur, but airlines tend to be big on routines as well. If your incoming flight is at Gate 57 for the whole week before your trip, you can expect to arrive at Gate 57 (again, not always true).  Likewise, if your connecting flight has been at Gate 19 for the past week, it probably will be there for you (again, not always true). Look at the airport maps.

Know your times.  Do you have a three-hour layover?  That is never three hours!! You arrive at your gate on time, but by the time your row in the back of the plane gets to deplane, it might be 20 minutes later.  

Airport restrooms can be crowded.  If the time for your next flight is close and you need the restroom it might be that a restroom close to your departing plane might be better than waiting in line for the restroom as you get off your first plane.

Try to have as much under your control as possible.  Book your rental cars carefully and you can skip the line at the rental counter when you get there.

For me, at height 6 feet and 3 inches, I prefer an aisle seat.  And as a 71-year-old male, I find that for flights over one hour, I will probably need the restroom and it is better not to climb over people to get out.  Plus with an aisle, after the beverage service is done I can slip my feet into the aisle for more legroom.

The better prepared you are, the better you will be prepared for delays, overcrowded planes and the mob of people.  If you are four hours late in reaching your destination, you will have to live with it – you are not the pilot!! Get a head pillow, relax and enjoy the trip.  Remember the destination – for your job, to see family, to see night and interesting places. Being crowded into a plane for a few hours is just part of the price of flying and getting someplace quicker than driving or taking a train or bus.

What do you do?

Bruce

 

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Blog Post #528 Cobblestones

Cobblestones

https://www.123rf.com/photo_60412949_modern-cobblestone-paving-in-perspective-with-circular-pattern-abstract-grey-background-or-texture-w.html

Cobblestones?  Really Bruce? You must have run out of topics to write on.

We recently took a Rhine River Cruise. So many of the historic places had cobblestone streets.  Even as I grew up, many streets were paved with bricks. But then concrete and asphalt took over.  

In one of our stops, the street was closed as two men were putting in new cobblestones.  From the link, cobblestones can be laid in patterns and can really look pretty. In these quaint towns where tourism is important, cobblestones are part of the ambiance.  There are arcs, designs with different colors (almost like mosaics), and yet functional to keep people from walking on dirt paths.

But, after several days of walking on cobblestone streets, I found I preferred concrete sidewalks.  The areas of Europe that we traveled through have a lot of bicycle riders. I think a smooth sidewalk or asphalt sidewalk would be definitely more comfortable than the cobblestones.  Every time a cyclist would go over a crack between stones, they would get a little bump. Now, they are probably used to that, and they might even favor that (because of past usage). But, for me, on a bike, I’d prefer smooth cycling.

Likewise for walking.  We walked on the cobblestones and occasionally you might also hit a crack.  One lady in our group had a walker and it was harder for her to get around because of the roughness of the cobblestones.

But, in the middle ages, paths were dirt and when it rained, the paths got muddy.  Given the choice of cobblestones or dirt, the cobblestones worked out. With good cobblestone masons to lay the stones in interesting patterns or even just to get the walkway above the dirt and mud was a good thing.

Progress goes on.  From dirt roads to stony roads, to cobblestones and now to paved roads, progress has been made.  While the cobblestones have a nice look and feel to them, the smoothness of current paving techniques makes travel better.

And so it goes – cobblestones are outdated, like many things in the 20th century. Do you have a television over 10 years old?  Outdated! Do you have a computer more than 6 years old? Outdated! Do your kitchen appliances interface with an Internet of things (IoT) device like the Echo or Alexa?  If not, they are outdated!

So, what will be next for roads?  Roads that will automatically move the way you want to go?  Roads that are designed for autonomous cars and will have sensors and cameras to aid the self-driving vehicles?  Maybe at some time in the distance future, sidewalks will be gone as we all have our personal jetpacks and once we are out of the door, we won’t be walking!!

What do you think?  Does technology continue to advance – like cobblestone paving?  What areas of our lives will NOT be affected by technology? Not many!

Bruce

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Blog Post #527 What goes into your mind

What goes into your mind.

https://www.ziglar.com/

“You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into your mind.”-Zig Ziglar

 

“If you are not happy with who you are or where you are, that’s ok. YOU are not stuck. YOU can change what goes into your mind. The choice is YOURS.”  Zig Ziglar

 

I’m not sure when I hear my first Zig Ziglar tape (yes – cassette tape).  I had heard the name and the local public library had some of his books (See You at the Top) and some of the audio tapes.  The motivation was real, the logic was real – not quite to a ‘think and grow rich’ concept, but you can change, you can become more. But, it is up to you.

 

So, I am going to use a personal illustration today.  In April 2017, I was feeling miserable and finally went to an emergency care facility.  I had a blood pressure of 213 over 161 and a pulse of 165. I was ‘running a fire hose at full pressure’ through my heart and aorta.  It had torn several holes in the aorta – and one more tear and I would have died. While I know I am going to die someday, I want to live longer and see my grandchildren grow up.  I had surgery on July 5, 2017, and the surgeon said: “You are lucky to be alive”. (This was a 6.5-hour surgery, my heart was stopped so they could work in that area; my body temperature was lowered to 69 degrees.)

Lucky to be alive – sure.  Maybe I should play the lottery if I was so lucky.

Yes, I was alive, but after the surgery, depression set in.  I was ‘worthless’. I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t lift things (including my grandchildren – who love piggyback rides), I couldn’t mow the lawn.   Just a lot of things I couldn’t do. I tried to walk two miles – a mile east to the elementary school and back. Coming back I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.  I stopped to rest and t0 catch my breath frequently. Yes, I was worthless. I sat around the house, trying to hide from myself. I had no purpose.

There was a time when I needed to cross a busy street, with cars whizzing by me, that I thought I could just step out in front of a speeding truck and be done with life.

But, I have a purpose.  What was going into my mind was junk – depression junk.  I wasn’t worthless. If nothing else I have five glorious grandchildren, a wonderful wife, good friends, and good (past) students.  If you will, I was having a ‘pity party’. “Oh, woe is me”.

Depression is ugly.  It robs us of the value we do have, it robs us of the joy we could have, it robs us of how we can put a smile on other’s faces.  I can (and do) write – from this daily blog to a novel to two motivational books. I have value.

I can’t say that I’m on totally over that, I can say that sometimes I allow depressive thoughts into my mind.  

 

BUT – the choice is MINE – I GET TO CHOOSE MY ATTITUDE!!!  I can choose to be positive, I can choose to be upbeat, I can choose to have value to others.

 

Or, parallel – the CHOICE IS YOURS.  You get to choose your attitude. What will it be?

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Blog Post #526 Overcoming Inertia

Overcoming Inertia

(Note – this is mostly for ME!!!)

https://daringtolivefully.com/overcome-inertia

Today’s article states: “The law of inertia states that it is the tendency of an object to resist a change in motion. That is, an object at rest will stay at rest unless it is acted on by an external force.”

So, I find myself sitting at my computer (probably like now – writing my blogs).  Going through my head are thoughts like: I should get a nice walk in, I should go to the gym, I should do <something>.

But, I find another email to read, another Facebook posting, another Twitter post, and <boom> another half-hour goes by – and I’m still at my computer.

This article suggests a three-step process (pretty much the same that we talked about in Systems Analysis and Design):

  1. SHOCK – some impetus to get going – the “thawing” of the current status quo.  Maybe you can set all of your clocks and cell phones to go off at a particular time.  
  2. Change – because of the disruption – get going, get out the door
  3. Refreeze the new system.

Others have suggested the shock maybe pain or pleasure.  The current status quo becomes painful (maybe you have added a few pounds and your clothes don’t fit).  Then think of the pleasure of losing that weight and buying a new dress or a new video game.

Find quick wins. The article suggests getting some successes.  Maybe you get to the gym – give yourself a reward (probably not a huge dish of ice cream if you are intending to lose weight.  Maybe for each day you ‘win’ you can put money into a special account for that new car, a new dress, a new bike, whatever. (For for days you don’t win, you take money out of that account and give it to a charity).

Dangle a Carrot.  Find an appropriate reward for you – if you win enough, you can do something special, go to a concert or take a trip.

Use a Stick  Like if you don’t reach your goal on a particular day, you have to skip your morning coffee!! (Some slight ‘pain point’)

Fill your gas tank (that is, take a nap, have a snack, drink some water)

Have a vision of where you want to go.  Like, set up SMART goals for losing weight or for procrastinating.  

Get started.  Get out the door, go, go, go.

Conclusion:  Most people fail because they really never start.  Why is January the best month for advertising fitness centers or diet plans on TV?  Because people want to lose the weight they put on over the holidays. And, all too frequently, after a month of good intentions people slack off and don’t go to the gym or don’t stick to the diet.

So, how are you going to overcome your inertia?

Bruce

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Blog Post #525 Critical Thinking – an “old/new” approach

Critical Thinking – an old/new approach!!

Critical thinking and problem-solving are crucial attributes for living.  We have to think every day. (My brother-in-law used to kid and say he was a government employee, he didn’t have to think!!)

Maybe you are driving in a new location and are lost – how can you solve your dilemma.  You have to be two places at the same time, how do you decide which one has a priority?

I named today’s blog “an old/new approach”.

I have been doing tutoring this fall in algebra.  I have two regular high school juniors that I spend time with – that are fighting their way through intermediate algebra.  

Now, think back to your days in algebra – and your life today.  Do you ever get a question as you are in line at the grocery store to solve X2 + X – 12 =0? No!!  Do you ever get asked if it takes a kayaker two hours to go upstream, but only half-an-hour to go downstream and the rate of the stream is six miles per hour.  How fast does the kayaker go in still water? NO – you one is going to ask you that. (I’ll answer that one later)

Nobody is going to ask you algebraic equations in real life – so why do you need to spend a couple of years on such problems in high school?  My answer is that algebra teaches you critical thinking and problem-solving in a very unique way.

By doing algebra problems back in the day (normally 9th grade and 11th grade) you trained your mind to figure out what was going on; you analyzed the situation; you may have drawn a model or a chart – and you learned to solve such problems.  

I taught computer programming many times in my teaching career – and again knowing how to think critically was essential.  The logic to solve algebra, the logic to program computers, the logic to get through life comes from training your brain to sort out the important aspects, understand the problem and being able to sit down and work your way through the problems.

I have enjoyed (yes – ENJOYED) doing this algebra tutoring (and it has come back very quickly).  

One of the important aspects of warding off Alzheimer’s is using your brain – do puzzles, do activities, THINK – and solve problems.  

For me (a former high school math teacher and college professor), I am finding that doing the algebra does work my brain.

So, an ‘old/new’ approach.  Stop by your public library and check out an algebra book – and work through some problems (and definitely try working those dreaded story problems too).  It just might be an activity to stimulate your brain and rekindle those critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

What do you think?

 

Problem answers:  1) X2 + X -12 =0  can be factored (wow – do you remember that?) into (X + 4) and (X – 3); set each to zero and you get solutions of X = -4 and X = 3

2) for the kayak problem, the distance the kayaker rows upstream and the distance he/she rows downstream is the same.

Let’s make X equal to the kayaker’s speed in still water.  So if the stream flows at 6 miles per hour, you get 2(X – 6)  (the speed going up the river is the kayaker’s speed in still water minus the flow of the river – so X-6) and the time is two hours – that is Rate * Time = Distance

Going downstream it takes a ½ hour – so ½(X + 6) is that distance.

Putting them together you get this equation:

2(X – 6)   = ½(X + 6)

And as you work it out, you get X = 10 – or the kayaker goes 10 miles per hour in still water – so upstream he is going 4 miles an hour against the flow – so in two hours he/she goes 8 miles; and downstream he/she is going 16 miles an hour – so in ½ hour, he/she would go 8 miles.

(By-the-way, if a kayaker can row at 10 miles an hour he or she is very fit and strong!!!)

And … last comment – for Minnesota and northern friends – there is a town on the banks of the St. Croix River called Stillwater (as well as a Stillwater in Oklahoma).  Sometimes my brain says so, that person goes so fast in Stillwater, how fast might they be in Minneapolis!!!

 

Bruce

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Blog post #524 There is no place like home

There is no place like home

https://www.homeconcepts.com

I “just” returned home (okay, it was yesterday about noon) from an 11 day adventure in Europe.  It was a Rhine River cruise with my wife, two of her sisters, one other spouse, and one friend. We started in Amsterdam, up the river to Basel

But, more on the trip later.

Today, I want to think of the word “Home”

I was born in Cedar Rapids Iowa – is that home?

I went to college and later taught in Winona Minnesota – is that home?

We were 18 years in South Dakota – is that home?

We were 13 years in Connecticut – is that home?

And, we have lived in the Austin Texas area for five-and-one-half years – is that home?

I’m thinking of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz clicking her shoes and saying “There is no place like home”

Or the song we will hear in the next month “There is no place like home for the holidays”.

Or the Christmas movies “Home Alone”

“Home” is a powerful term.  Ask somebody to think of “home” and they may remember their childhood home; or the current home (or someplace in-between).

There is a spiritual song – This Earth is not my home” – with these lyrics:

This world is not my home I’m just a passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door
And I can’t feel at home in this world anymore”


We don’t really know much about ‘heaven’ or the afterlife (or really if there is one).  In the Judeo-Christian view, there is a heaven. Even other religions believe in heaven.  

Someday I am going to die (fact); someday something will happen to me and my body (fact).  Is my body/soul just going to rot in a grave (not sure); is my soul/spirit going to heaven(not sure, but I hope so); will I be reincarnated as something else (one of the Hindu thoughts).  The afterlife becomes a ‘belief’ – something that (as of now) can’t be proven or disproven.

On our trip, we stopped in Strasbourg France. It is in the Alsace region.  Poor Alsace has bounced around for years. Part of the Roman Empire overthrew their government and (feudalist with the French Revolution. Prior to 1871, Alsace was ‘kind of’ a French providence.  In 1871 Germany defeated France and in the peace treaty got Alsace and part of Lorraine in the settlement. Then came World War I and Germany lost so Alsace became French again; then Hitler conquered France and made Alsace German again; and in the World War II peace treaty, Alsace became French again.  Our guide indicated that many in the region speak both French and German. So, if my family moved to Alsace in (say) 1880 as Germans, could I say that it was my homeland?

So, what is ‘home’?  Can I call Germany ‘home’ as I had some German ancestors?  Can I call Ireland ‘home’ as I had some Irish ancestors?

Our modern society has people moving from place to place.  My grandparents lived in Cedar Rapids all their life; my parents lived in Cedar Rapids for over 70 years but moved to Michigan.  Is there a cemetery for me someplace? (I think I want to be cremated).

‘Home’ is still a difficult problem in the Middle-East.  The Jews have called it their ‘homeland’ and in 1947 it became so.  But, the Palestinians also have called it ‘home’. And, the fight for who can really call the area “home” continues.  

“Home” is also rough in Russian and Ukraine.  Is the Ukraine area really just part of Russia? What is ‘home’ for these people?

So, as I come home from a long trip – is Texas home for me?  Currently, it is. But what if I move to South Africa or Nepal or anyplace – won’t that become ‘home’ to me?

To me the song above make sense – “This world is not my home I’m just a passing through”  In a few years I will be dead and I really don’t care if Texas is my ‘home’ or not.

What is ‘home’ to you?

Bruce

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Blog #523 Nine habits that take away your happiness – part II

Coaching for Life Success: Bad Habits that can lead to unhappiness Part 1

https://www.success.com/9-bad-habits-that-can-lead-to-unhappiness/

Yesterday we started looking at this article about bad habits that can lead to unhappiness.  The habits yesterday were: 1) Holding your feelings in; 2) Too much technology; 3) Spend too much time and effort getting ‘things’, and 4) Waiting for the future.

Today, we will look at the last five items from this article:

5- Fighting change.  Guess what? Change is inevitable!!  You are fighting against things you as one person can’t stop.  Try to think about what could be ahead of you and prepare for that change.  I have fought against retirement, but, again, guess what – I can’t change that.  I can adapt and be ready for changes in my life and environment.

6- Pessimism.  The old statement from Henry Ford, if you think you can, or think you can’t – you are correct.  If you think something can’t happen for you-you are being pessimistic. You are holding yourself back and it becomes a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’.  Get your head on start, be positive!!!

7- Keeping up with the Joneses.  This relates to #3 yesterday – getting ‘things’.  So, your neighbors have a new car; so, your neighbors have a new television; so your neighbors have the latest technology.  Don’t let envy blind you to what you have!! (There might even be one thing they have you are glad you don’t have – bills to pay off the ‘stuff’.  

8- Not improving.  If you get in the pessimistic loop, you don’t take the time to improve yourself.  Work at your vocabulary, work at your fitness, work at your knowledge of programming (or whatever).  Get smart – invest in yourself!

9- Staying home.  When you are unhappy, you want to have a ‘pity-party’.  You want to sit at home and sulk. The authors suggest that being antisocial will make you more isolated and unhappy.  Get out there, mingle, make friends.

Which ones match you?  Do you get out socially?  Are you making friends? Are you a pessimist?  Work to overcome those – and thus work on being happy!!!

Bruce

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Blog #522 Nine Habits that can lead to unhappiness – part 1

Coaching for Life Success: Bad Habits that can lead to unhappiness Part 1

https://www.success.com/9-bad-habits-that-can-lead-to-unhappiness/

Do we do things that turn us around?  That is things that shouldn’t be bad, but somehow starts us down the ‘unhappy’ path?  In today’s article, there are a couple of things that I need to think about.

Here we go!!

Item 1- Holding your feelings in.  Be careful with this item. You can’t explode like a volcano when things go wrong, but you do need to express your feelings.  If you hold your feelings in, they can build up. Maybe for some reason, you really don’t like professional football games, but you have never expressed this.  Every Sunday during the fall, your spouse turns on the television and assumes you want to watch the game. Maybe you don’t ‘hate’ professional football, but it really isn’t what you want to waste six hours of your time on a Sunday afternoon.  Keeping your feelings inside can lead to unhappiness.

Item 2- Too much technology?  We’ve all done it and seen it.  The couples at dinner with both of them on their smartphones.  We’ve seen it when we come home, the first thing we after we come in the door is turn on the television, turn on our computers.  The concept is “I don’t want to miss out”. Turn the phones off if you are at dinner with your spouse. Hopefully, you have plenty to talk about, your dreams, aspirations, even your feelings about things (like item 1 above).  

Item 3- Chasing after things. Some things are nice to have.  It is nice to have a nice television set, maybe a game console, a great backyard grill.  But, somethings ‘things’ get in the way of people. If you have children, have you taken time today to wrap your arm around them and hug them and tell them how proud you are of them?  The best things in life are not THINGS!!!

Item 4- Waiting for the future.  You might keep saying “In a few years I can retire”; or “Life will be much better in four years when our son goes off to college”; or “I can’t wait until I get promoted”.  There are three times in our lives – past, present, and future. The past is gone, and we can’t do much about that; the future is unknown and waiting for the future might be disappointing, but the present is NOW – live in the present!!  Work on being happy NOW.

So, which ones can you identify with?  I’m trying to work on expressing my feelings (in a gentle way) and also putting my phone away.  I can miss out on things. If they were important, they will come back.

What do you think?

Bruce

Posted by Bruce White, 0 comments